From Striving to Thriving: Rediscovering What Power Is
In my previous post, I shared a first part of my conversation with Silal and the questions that it brought up. Here is the 2nd part of this exploration.
In our short (but sweet!) conversation, Silal and I also both recognised - in ourselves and the people that we work with - that our real power arose when we allowed ourselves to drop the striving, and, instead, to soften.
While this might not make much mental sense, I invite you to notice your body and energy’s reaction to these words, as you may experience relief and openness. If so, that is your body speaking (and saying YES!).
My Definition of Power
The topic of Power is of course a biggie, and one that continuously comes up in various forms in my life and work.
I recently read a definition of Power by Dan Koe that reads something like this: “power is our capacity to control our own actions”. And while I do like it, I feel it is also missing something valuable.
In my experience, my most powerful moments were when I took a leap of faith (which felt like the most natural and obvious thing to do) to stand up for myself, and to not get drawn into conditioned patterns of behaviour or thinking (my own, as well as from people around me).
Instead, I chose to remain open, connected, in my gentle loving, playful energy (as much as possible, of course at times this can be super cringing and clumsy).
In other words, I chose to control my ‘re-action’.
So, perhaps another definition of Power is this:
“Our ability to direct our own actions and re-actions toward love and connection”.
[As I write this, my body has an excited reaction, a big YES in my belly. But I also know that the ‘toward love and connection’ part can be misinterpreted by our minds (and can give people the permission to do all sorts of awful things in the name of ‘Love’. I will go deeper into these misconceptions in future articles. For now, I will assume - if you were drawn to this blog - that you know what I mean by love and connection, and that you’ve had an experience of being in your compassion (which we can be even when we’re telling someone to ‘eff off!’).]
How to be in Your Power
Working hard, striving, trying, hustling, pushing, struggling, etc (which I know very well, as do most entrepreneurs and freelancers), while glorified in our current society, are in fact expressions of disembodiment and disconnection from our true power.
And while the underlying structure of most organisations and societies does push us toward repeating these conditioned behaviours, YOUR power lies in your ability to “direct your own actions and re-actions toward love and connection’”.
So in this context, what does that look like?
In my experience, when I am able to:
(1) Notice that I am striving and pushing, then;
(2) Allow myself to stop, relax and soften my body;
(3) I reconnect with my natural open energy and power. This is like breathing a sigh of relief!
On the surface, this may not look like a groundbreaking new technology (which - interestingly - may make it seem less ‘valuable’) - HOWEVER, it is the key to living with more grace, ease, and even pleasure.
What it all boils down to it how we are using our Will: either we are using it in alignment with a deeper, more intuitive, more loveful and more ‘spiritual’ force, or we are using our Will to reinforce old conditioned patterns and ways of working.
Right there, you see, lies our Power: our Power to break from conditioned patterns, and create our lives and our careers from a more connected and loveful place.
The Journey Home
Coming home to our Power in this way allows us to reconnect with our own guidance and authority. From there, we can begin to create our lives as is right for US - NOT based on learnt behaviours or conditioning.
It allows us to, over time ,decrease the noise of our minds, and to experience more profound power, at times quiet and gentle, at times loud and expressive.
Of course, it does take practice. At times this may be clumsy, and you may - frustratingly - notice yourself getting drawn into conditioned and limiting behaviours again, sometimes in fresh new ways! But over time, your discernment will expand, and this ability to “direct your actions and re-actions toward love, connection and expansion for all” will remain.
[Yes, I added the expansion for all bit and will explain that in a future article.]
What about you: do you notice yourself striving and pushing at times? Try the steps outlined above, and let me know how you get on: what changes, what do you notice, etc?
PS: There is a great book that helped me a lot to remember to relax and soften in my business and entrepreneurship journey: Chill & Prosper by Denise Duffield-Thomas (highly recommended!).
